


Kissing Back

by seleneheart



Category: Shelter (2007)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seleneheart/pseuds/seleneheart
Summary: Zach rationalizes





	Kissing Back

Looking isn’t gay.

Everybody looks. It starts in junior high when you look to see who’s getting taller and who’s getting chest hair. Once you realize what your junk is for, you start comparing, making sure that you measure up. Sometimes you actually do measure, taking turns with a ruler and ducking into the bathroom, then bragging to your friends.

As you get older, you start looking to see who can handle their stick, or who’s got a new move out in the soup. You look for interesting ink and wonder just how much those ripped up pecs can bench press. 

Comparing bodies is just like comparing chicks or rides.

Looking is nothing.

Touching would be gay, but just thinking about touching isn’t gay.

Thinking about touching is just purely human and healthy curiosity. Everybody wonders what something strange would be like. Especially when you’re in a relationship that started when you first got hair on your pubes, and has long outlasted your interest. Even if you have a smoking hot girlfriend, there’s only so many times you can hit that same piece of ass without wanting to bang your head against the wall from sheer boredom. It’s only natural to imagine what a different touch would feel like. 

Boredom and curiosity, both perfectly normal. And not gay.

Letting someone kiss you isn’t gay.

If another guy kisses you and you don’t freak out, that’s just because you’re mature and civilized. A sign that you’re not a homophobic asshole. Nothing to do with being gay. You kept your hands to yourself, after all. Even though the kiss answered every question you’ve ever asked and was everything you ever dreamed of having. And left you aching with want like no one else ever had. You were just being polite to an old friend.

Because you’re a nice guy.

Kissing back though . . . .


End file.
